Saying the Truth Doesn’t Make You Good

Honesty is a delicate subject. Sometimes people aren’t honest enough. But I don’t think there is such a thing as too much honesty. Just jackass honesty.

I had an encounter with someone pretty close to me, recently. He said many things he thought were “true” (some of which I agreed with, some of which I didn’t). He essentially made me feel like I was a failure, and that if I didn’t stick close to him in life, I would be doomed to more failure. And he kept saying, “it’s the truth.”

What he didn’t understand is that saying what you think the truth is, doesn’t make you a good person. It doesn’t justify how you say what you say. If you say things bitterly, it’s a bitterly spoken truth. If you say things kindly, it’s a kindly spoken truth. The difference matters, if you’re not a totally inconsiderate human being.

For example, I had a lot of health problems during the end of high school and throughout college. A mean person could say, “You really let the ball drop and you let yourself down during those years. You failed because you were weak and had bad influences from other people close to you.” It’s haunting to hear such words, especially from someone close to you. It’s the opposite of supportive. It’s communicated through such a thick veil of negativity that you could even say it’s untrue. A good person might say, “I know those years were really tough, and you went through a lot, but I know you can pick yourself back up. I believe in you.” This still communicates the truth, but in a much more thoughtful way. One that is supportive, and will only inspire you when you are down. It makes you feel that the person is on your side, and despite life’s hardships, wishes you the best in happiness, health, and so on.

So, yes. Honesty is important. But while thoughtful honesty is wonderfully supportive and loving, jackass honesty is toxic.




3 thoughts on “Saying the Truth Doesn’t Make You Good

  1. blairanswers says:

    This is so true! The truth which would hurt someone should not be told! This is what i believe. And all those people who are full of negative comments, stop listening to them. You are a wonderful person and no one can change that 🙂

    • arunagee says:

      Aww, thanks so much Blair 🙂 That’s so kind of you to say.

      I think that the amount I try to disclose to people is proportional to how close I am to them. The closer I am, the more important it is to share more of my life in as honest, but tactful, a way as possible. And the more you disclose, the harder it can be to remain fully mindful and tactful. But really – it’s bitterness that turns a truth sour.

      You’re so positive and supportive. Thanks for your lovely comment Blair! 😀

      – Aruna

      • blairanswers says:

        thank-you Aruna!
        and I totally agree with you, the closer you get the more you open up! But you have to be careful about who you are opening up to! I mean, is that person worth your trust? and that is where most of us fail and get hurt.

        I feel so in too deep.

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