Generally I’m a happy person, but in the past week or two I’ve lacked motivation. I’m in a slump, and I’m regressing instead of progressing with my goals. I feel frustrated, because I know I would be so much happier going up to my home office by 10 am, showering before 2 pm, and doing more than putting up a post here on Eudaimonia by 5 pm. But I find myself not doing the things I say I want to.
I think being at home alone all day is lonely. I get lonely. My family is great (I talk to my parents on the phone pretty frequently), and I have an awesome boyfriend who gives me lots of time and attention. But I haven’t seen my friends much lately and because my bread and butter job is so unique – I have too much alone time.
I find myself watching TV and reading articles or blogs online, in search of contact. And all of that indirect contact with people is just never satisfying. And it’s not physical, which is important to me. It doesn’t compare to a 10 minute conversation with a friend, or a focused conversation with a co-worker, or even watching a movie with someone sitting next to you.
I need to get out of the house more. I need people. I guess that’s just the kind of person I am. It took a long time for me to figure that out, and it’s something I just keep re-realizing, because I grew up in a small family and spent a lot of time alone in my room studying for school.
Thankfully, this won’t be an issue soon enough. I’ll be back on the Harvard campus tomorrow. This summer I’m taking a drawing and painting class and I’ll be a live-in proctor with the Harvard Summer School!